Being Scared

I would rather be hungry, keeping in mind that I live to eat, yes… I would rather have pangs of hunger than be scared. Everybody gets scared at least a billion times in their lives so I am not talking about a feeling that only some can relate to. We have all almost peed our pants, whether it was because we were being chased by a dog or that we were summoned to the boss’ office, right? However today, I want to talk about real/deep fear that is instilled in us by circumstances beyond our control.

By virtue of being a woman, fearful is just one of our characteristics. We wake up and get dressed and make ourselves as beautiful as we can but at the back of every woman’s head is the fear of what harm can be done to us for just being the ‘weaker sex’. As we walk down the streets, we consciously avoid  groups of men that we feel will harass us. Harassment I am referring to is that which objectifies us and leaves us humiliated. For example being called every obscene word because you just walked past or God forbid,rape because you lured a rapist by the way you are dressed or the way you inhale and exhale oxygen.  #rollseyes. Tasers and pepper-spray…helpful inventions.

I was having this conversation with 3 other colleagues and 1 male one said that they too have crossed the road in fear of being harassed. I will not take away that experience from him or any of my bros. However, I can fully articulate the fear from a lady’s perspective because that’s all I know.

One fear I have absolutely chosen not to even entertain is the fear of a person. I’m sorry but if you have two legs and a heartbeat that will stop at a time unknown to even yourself….I am not about to give you the power to terrify me. I know some will think so why give dingy men the power to harass you? These are two different contexts.  I have seen people who are just lily-livered with their spouses, parents, supervisors,pastors…Honestly though, how many times are you willing to die before you actually die.

I won’t dwell much on being scared of what the future holds and etc because my last blog was preaching about how we shouldn’t have that type of fear. But these are real fears. Fear of being discriminated against and living a sub-standard life because of the colour of your skin or where you come from. The world is not the best place to be in with all these wars, hate crimes, diseases​, abuse and all its cousins..these are scary things.

So how do we curb these fears that we have, that have absolutely nothing to do with us or the type of people we are but everything to do with the ugly face of the dark side of life?… I don’t know my friend. But wiki-how suggests that we visualize ourselves still being scared, but handling the situation in an acceptable manner.

If only it were that easy wiki…